trusts and promises.

*sigh*
nothing bad has happened today.
but...
i have broke our friendship. with 'her'.
i can't take it anymore. i gave her chance for 2days. she could just texted me, bbm me, or anything! to explain!
but she didn't!

yesterday, yeaah, my date with jessica and steffi got canceled. but they're still going out without me.
bcz suddenly my groupmate texted me and told me 'on Sunday we will gathering at my house'
okayy, homework comes first right?

we were still doing our music assignment. well, coincidencely, my groupmates were all the groupmates of the geo assignment. i'm not one of them, though. suddenly, 'she' bbm-ed catherine. she was asking, 'may i join your guys group?'
okay i was a little shocked. so whats jessica told me wasn't a lie. it's true.
my face totally changed, from happy to angry. my groupmates didn't notice, duh, no way i gonna showed out my emotions. i just kept silent, and inside i cursed her silently.
still, bitch. has she forgotten about me?

so this morning. at class,'she' was nearby my seat, 'she' was talking to my friend who is sit beside me and she is 'her' friend. i just ignored 'her'. pretending 'she' wasn't there. 'she' called me, but i still ignoring 'her'. 'she' knew i was angry, 'she' knew.

before that, i asked nathania, what's just happened? how could this all became like this? but nathania, herself also confused. *sigh* okay, whatever.

i asked one by one, everybody story has their own versions. and trust me, all the versions were different. didn't have a one similar. nice right.
but then, one of my friend here who is also 'her' friend. told me.
she did mentioned me to her friends.
my friend told me, she told her that,
'she wanted to be in the same group with me so bad. she's already told our classroom's president that she wanted to be in the same group with me. but our classroom's president arranged her to be in the same group with them. and bcz she knew i was mad at her this morning, she said it's okay if i won't be in the same group with her, she just wanted me to forgive her'

was she sad? yes.
i could see it in her face.

i've got this a few questions in my head:
is it worth it to end this friendship?
i still confused.

am i sad?
it breaks my heart.

can i trust her again if i forgive her?
i don't know. it'll be hard.

do i want to listen to her explanation?
i do.

then why won't i just ask her to explain?
the truth is, this morning, i couldn't stand to look at her face.

so how can she explain if i don't want to look her face?
i am hoping she will text me. so bad, to explain.

why am i not the one who text her and ask her to explain?
it's to hard, i'm too mad at her.

*sigh*
i even don't know how many times already have i sighed. the hardest question that i have in my head now.
do i want to make this friendship work again?
....

i am really sad.
sad that i have lost one of my precious friend. sad bcz it's hurt to see her face. sad bcz neither of us wanted to make this friendship work again. SAD.

 

jessica brought her polaroid this morning.

we took a few snaps.

but i only took one snap of the polaroid with vete's galaxy and posted it to instagram. hehe.

from left to right: veronicazheng(me), erik leonardi, gracia djaja, vincent tiogana, jessica tjiunardi.

i'm out of here!

INSTAGRAM: veronicazheng

xoxo,